All or nothing.

There are moments where I want to have it all - a clean house, a beautiful garden, perfect days filled with playing outside, walks with the dog, real conversation with my husband, and healthy home cooked meals. And then sometimes I just want to sit down.

Ever have that feeling that if you just sit down for a few minutes you'll feel refreshed? Lately, it isn't working. I sit down and feel no better afterward. But cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, and getting lots done in a few hours makes me feel great, but tired.

This life is so beautiful...if only I could feel refreshed sometime.

Blessed.

Today God welcomed one of his angels back into heaven; a little baby younger than Marjorie. Days like this remind me how very lucky I am. I pray that the Lord lets her stay with us for a very long time. 

Thank you God for this sweet, little girl. I cherish her.

Returning gifts.

As we found homes for gifts this new year, I couldn't help but be thankful for the generosity of those who surround us. In the past two years we have been recipients of the two greatest gifts - time and love - in abundance.

Looking back at the journey we've taken it would be impossible to thank all of the people that have helped us. We've been given a helping hand moving (multiple times), a place to live, help planning our wedding, preparing for Maggie, and a hand welcoming her into this world. I've enjoyed afternoons with friends, support at work, moments of understanding, and best of all, time with loved ones and friends.

I've asked myself a thousand times, how will I ever repay all that they have given? This thoughtfulness touches me in a way, for so long, I had not noticed.

It wasn't until recently that I understood what it means to get a birthday card sent out on time, not just remembering to say happy birthday, but to devote a bit of time to that person. As my life is full of love for so many, my goal for the year is to show how much I care as often as I can. And to pay forward the love they have shared with me.

So I thank you; and want you to know that it may be awhile before you are in need and I have the gift you need to receive - my strength to carry your furniture, my planning to throw your wedding, or advice on being a mother and a wife. But I will spread your love to others who need those gifts now; and in your honor, share the joy you have given me with others.

Miss Marjorie's Birth Story

At 12:31 a.m.on November 2, Miss Marjorie was born and I became a Momma.

Birthing her started long before her arrival. We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. November 1, eager to meet our little girl; who was already more than a week late. My doctor and I discussed options - the initial plan for induction was Pitocin, but after reading up on the nature of its influence on labor I voiced my preference for alternatives; and decided on a cervical ripener that could be removed if too intense.

It was a good choice, since shortly after it was administered I started having tetanic contractions. These sustained contractions don't have any rest period in between and lasted for hours. When Maggie's heart rate dropped for the third time they administered a bolus of fluid slow things down. After no relief from the saline, they administered a muscle relaxer, which changed everything.

By 2 p.m. my contractions were under control and it was decided I should rest till 6; then we would discuss pitocin. Luckily my body had been initiating contractions since the beginning of induction on its own and during the four hours of rest things progressed to two centimeters. Once examined, my doctor decided to break my water right in hopes my contractions would become regular and we'd get the show on the road more naturally. And boy, did that get things going!

My contractions became regular very quickly and I was breathing my way through. Brian was an amazing coach throughout the entire process. I spent some time on the birthing ball, using Hypnobirthing breathing techniques, and getting back massage from my hubby to work through each surge. When things started to get intense I decided it was time for more relief. Maggie was posterior and the back labor put me over my pain threshold. Ten milligrams of Stadol took the edge off and thirty minutes later had worn off. It was time to climb into the tub for some relief - thirty minutes was all I got before they pulled me out, concerned about Maggie since she had shown signs of distress earlier in the day. Brian helped make the most of it, pouring water over my belly and reminding me to take deep breaths. Once out, I was begging for another dose of Stadol while trying to continue breathing through my contractions, though at this point I was yelling my way through labor. Good thing the hospital was small and there were only two other Mommas on the floor.

My doctor came in to check my progress before allowing additional pain medication, but no luck on the meds as it was time to push! My room had been transformed while I was in the tub, extra furniture was wheeled out and birthing tools moved it. An hour and a half of pushing later and Miss Maggie was born. It took a long time for her to come around and down through my pelvis, but some strong pushing and we welcomed our baby girl.

The umbilical cord was around her neck and she was passed to the pediatrician. Brian stood between my bed and Maggie as they stimulated her - when she belted out her first cry my heart soared. I've been in love ever since. Bringing Marjorie into this world with the strength of my own body, with my husband by my side was the most miraculous experience of my life. She is a gift from God.

Always smiling

Waiting for a taxi last night with Meghan, the sweet girl ahead of us asked me if I love being pregnant. My answer: a resounding I LOVE IT!

The first trimester was trying for both Brian and I while I was constantly exhausted and feeling nauseous. However, we are now well into the second trimester and I feel fantastic! I'm amazed at the miracle of a baby growing inside of me, loving her bumps and kicks, and cherishing my body.

At the doctor's office, we walk in and the other women are rarely smiling. I'm not sure I understand why there isn't an unspoken kinship. I want to share a knowing smile with them - a mutual understanding of the happiness only a woman whom has carried a child could know.

Much to Brian's dismay I've easily forgotten the misery that was a good chunk of my first trimester. I'm passed that and onto the nursery planning, loving the movements of our little girl, and cherishing the miracle we've made together.

So smile at little darn it...enjoy the beauty that is your body and the miracle you've been blessed with. You're belly is big so I hope your over the morning sickness, and if not, keep frowning - that was terrible.

Kody's 1st Birthday

Yesterday Kody celebrated his very 1st birthday, spent mostly outside of course.

My cuddly little bear has gotten so big already, though he still has a whole year of growing left to do. As a Berner we are loving bring able to soak in his adorable puppy nature, soft fur and manerisms for a little while longer. He won't be fully mature until two or three and as crazy as he can be as a pup, I love his puppy personality.

For his big day, he enjoyed lots of time in the sun for the afternoon, did a little gardening (or stepping on Nana's rosemary), and enjoyed a multitude of snacks. Once home from the office, I joined the party and we spent the evening in the backyard around a camp fire while Kody happily chomped on a new bone from Nana.

He missed his Daddy greatly and is patiently waiting to jump all over him for cuddling when we head home after my trip for work. For now he is still enjoying his bone, particularly when it involves laying on Nana's lap. He is soaking up all the loving he can get and is napping the days away with his favorite girl doggie Goldie.

I hope you had a great day bud, Happy Birthday big guy.

Letters to Baby Goose

Hi Little one,

I got your very first gift today. It is from Trish, one of the sweetest ladies that I work with. I'm sure you will meet her when Daddy and I bring you to meet Boston. It's a little pink giraffe blanket. I adore the softness and how tiny it is, just the perfect size for you. When I unwrapped the package and smoothed my hand over the fabric I automatically thought of how soft your skin will be when you arrive. I'm secretly hoping you will have your Daddy's cheeks. They are the most kissable cheeks in the world and in baby size and softness I will melt everytime I kiss you. I promise I'll try very hard not to over do the snuggling, but as your Daddy already knows I just can't help myself.

Keep growing big and strong.

Love,
your Momma

Nana's cookies

Baby goose and I are spending a few days with Nana and Papa before heading to New York for work. And last night we got to do one of my favorite things...bake.

And at twenty-one weeks, our little girl already loves Nana's chocolate chip cookies.

She can now taste what I eat in the flavor of the ambiotic fluid she drinks. And she has been wiggling with excitement all day as she enjoys the sweetness of the Nana's cookies.

So I think I'll spend the rest of my time here enjoying a few more. As I will happily snack on Nana's cookies to feel the flutters of our little babe.

Thank you Nana, Baby Goose says keep 'em coming.

Bareing the Babe

I just can't stop bareing my belly.

It gets more round everyday while our little girl grows and it would be hard for me, not to appreciate that. And never before has my stomach protruded from my body showing growth of weight or baby.

My belly, the constant reminder of the miracle of life makes an appearance at least once during the day. And Brian loves it too. At first, I wasn't very round and he would shake his head as he always has when I rub my belly. But now our little girl is getting big and so is Momma. Brian now looks at me with a knowing smile and rubs my belly too. Today he got to feel her for the first time kicking away. And she also received some Kody kisses as Daddy taught him to lick my tummy.


Kody and I enjoying the sunshine, visiting Grandma's chickens



In the evening, when a long day is done, our little baby goose likes to make her presence known. She sits heavy in my lower abdomen and I rub my belly as she meets my hand. It's one of my favorite parts of the day, as if she is letting me know it's time to sleep. Shortly after, while getting ready for bed I can't help but revel in the growth my body has made while we patiently wait for our baby girl.

A glorious day at the farm

Letters to Baby Goose

Yesterday we found out you're our baby girl and now all of my expectations are changing. Your Daddy convinced me you were a boy. For weeks, I have been preparing for broken bones and mud pies. But now all of that has changed as I dream of how soft and delicate you will be. Your flips and flutters in my belly seem so much more graceful now, less like karate and more like ballet.

Grow strong little one, Daddy and I are so excited to meet you. We've got a lot of preparing to do so take your time.

Love,
your Momma

Back to the Beginning.

It's been a year. I started this blog a year ago to share with family and friends our lives now that we were living hours away. I've shared advice, attempted to hold fast to goals by telling everyone, ventured into life's changes, and somewhat cataloged our year. This may have been the biggest, craziest year we'll ever have - but I doubt that. If you know us - you doubt that too.

Twenty-ten was good to us.

We've moved three times (ok, two since we moved to Maine in December 2009). We got married, changed my name, brought Kody into our home and hearts, made new friends, become whitewater guides, and more. It's not just us though, my sister married Michael and moved to Texas, Brian's Mom and Ted purchased a business in Maine (and in 2011, a home), my little sister got her permit, my parents ventured to new places including Maine and are sillier than ever. My best friends have new jobs, some have new apartments, and we're all starting appear like real adults.

Best change of 2010 - I'm a wife. Not just anyone's wife - Brian's wife. I love him, our little family, and our future.

So, where were we...

I'm attempting to get back on track; eating right, working out, blogging regularly, crossing items off of my to do list, all the good stuff. Why wait until 2011? Now is as good a time as any. My focus - healthy living, physically and mentally. (Anyone else get those happy endorphins when checking an item off of your to do list?)My winter challenge - make one positive change each week. Can you help keep me going? Razz me when I slack?

Change one: Water
Winter is dry, the wood stove makes the humidity in the house low, and except for the fantastic local moisturizing products I use - I need to drink more water. A bit of wisdom from a wonderful woman, Miss Georgia Deane, the fountain of youth is sweat. My rationalization; sweat keeps your skin moist and soft, the physical activity you do to create the sweat keeps your body young - so it must be true!

So I'll continue to slather on Maine Mountian Soap Company's Lanolin Balm on my hands every night before bed, moisurize my skin a couple of times a week with Soapwalla's Moisturizing Body Oil, and keep my cheeks rosie and bright for the holidays with H.G.O. Lab's Neroli Face Oil. As for the water - tea to keep me cozy and hydrated, and water, water, and more water. By Klean Kanteen will be joining me as my sidekick yet again. My goal - 2 bottles of water a day, plus tea, juice and anything else that comes my way. 

Another bit of wisdom from Georgia, stand straight, when you lean on one leg or the other you get saddle bags - the bit of chubby on your hips and butt.

Seasons bring change.

We're packing up to move into a new house on the river for the winter. The Crock-pot is out full of hearty foods, warming our bellies on these brisk fall days. Frost is a mainstay in the early morning and the leaves are almost gone. We've been using the wood stove in the kitchen for a few weeks now and Kody is sleeping on our bed again.

Mom and Dad were just up with Courtney and Goldie for a peek at Maine's incredible fall foliage. They were definitely happy to be back on pavement after all of our adventures traveling the dirt roads, but we saw incredible falls and enjoyed hiking.

We even stopped to take some family photos at Grand Falls. After climbing those steps we needed a rest.

I'm hoping we will see a little more of fall before the snow comes, but we've already seen light squalls. Next time Mom and Dad are here we'll be snowmobiling.

Maine has been full of new adventures for all of our family members. Brian's Mom and Ted will be joining us up here starting in December. They've purchased a camp rental management company and are finally making the move. It will be good to have family so close.

Here's to a healthy happy Fall and an exciting change of the seasons. And plenty of warmth cuddled with the ones we love.



Kodiak, Our Little Bear.

By now many of you have met the lovable, cuddly, snuggly, adorable puppy who has joined our family. Kody has been keeping us, along with everyone we know, very busy. At 13 weeks, he is 21 pounds and growing far too quickly for my adoring, loving heart. Kody is a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy full of life, love and bounce. His teething and energy have kept us busy. He is the most well socialized pup I've met. When work calls friends visit Kody all day long to keep him active and from peeing in the house. He has a very busy social calendar, with a trip to meet Grandma and Grandpa Willette at the Greenville Sea Plane Fly-in, a week at Pop and Nana Spalton's while I'm traveling with work, apple picking, and frequent trips to Northern to see his friends. His list of visitors is astonishing and thankfully never ending as we share in his excitement.

Our friends Elyse and Sonya have taken him for a swim, he's been bathed by Pappa, and he's lots of new canine friends. Soon we'll start walks with some other friends in the neighborhood and we can't wait for snow.

Our love abounds for our new addition. If you haven't met yet, he may melt your heart as he has ours. If I love this little guy so much, I'll be a puddle of mush when it comes to our babies. Good thing I have plenty of time to pull it together.

See you soon.

Mangia! Eat, eat.

Brian and I finally got to spend some time together - no work, no appointments, just him and me and 2 days to do whatever we wanted. After weeks (months, really) of chaos we nixed camping and decided to get our things done around the house. 

First thing Saturday, after sleeping in late, we headed to the Farmer's Market. Fresh veggies, bison steaks, and some homemade goat cheese filled my tote. Brian enjoyed his first trip to the Skowhegan market. And we headed home to cook after a quick stop at Hannaford's for a few more things. We cooked away alongside each other, covered in flour with me learning all sorts of new tricks.

First up was bread - loaves, knots, and baguettes.

Loaves turned out the best, along with the knots. The soft roll recipe is not really best for baguettes, but we had so much dough we figured we'd try. Next up was a bolognese, with ground beef and sausage.

Master of blanching and peeling tomatoes, I left the heavy lifting (seasoning) to Brian. It was delicious and way easier than I ever thought. Bonus, our tomatoes were paste tomatoes from One Drop Farm, who got the seeds from a family friend - whose Italian grandmother had been growing and using solely this type of tomato for sauce making in her family for generations.

Whole wheat fettuccine provided a hearty base for our bolognese. Eggs and flour, simple as pie. The KitchenAid pasta tool worked like a pro - the most fun part (except for stealing kisses from my hubs).

Brian hard at work.

Thinning out the dough.
(And looking adorable in my apron thanks to Mom!)

We finished up the day with an apple crisp, complete with cranberries, walnuts, and apples from Maine.  Friends, Elyse and Emily, joined us for a feast and brought great wine.

Sustainable Love.

With wedding planning done, it is time to turn focus inward and start taking care of my hubs and me. We may be a small family, but I love taking care of us.

Sustainable, local living has become increasingly more important to me - and Brian likes my enthusiasm and appreciates my focus on keeping us healthy. So I've decided to finally start concentrating on integrating local foods into our meals. By the time we have children, I would like to be eating only foods that were grown, raised, or produced with a conscious. The main reason: a healthy lifestyle for my family - to avoid the hormones and antibiotics, the pesticides and cruelty that commercial farming often passes on.

My goal not only includes food, but all products that we use. Green goods made by renewable resources from carbon neutral or limited companies also makes a difference. It's about a healthy home for my family, and a sustainable lifestyle that is good for our earth.

I'll keep you updated on how we are coming along. First up, researching the resources in our area and making connections with farmers. And hopefully soon, canning some of the delicious produce that we will only have for a short time, as the leaves are already beginning to change.

Here we go again.

Things are never quiet in our crazy little world. Since the wedding we have been super cute and domestic. Brian's been cooking and grocery shopping. I've been reorganizing and getting laundry done. But then a little bird sent a reminder, we don't live a quiet life. Enter, chaos.

It's "angry august" here at Northern, when guides get burnt out and staff gets tired. Everyone has been pushing through doubles and weeks with no end since July. It's the race to the finish to make money before everyone heads their separate ways before winter. Separate ways? Oh yes, that means ARE WE MOVING?

Our fabulous house, with tons of space and some mice is far too big for heating without some wood. And scaredy me doesn't want to heat with wood in the old house when Brian's at work all night. So, we need something smaller. No biggie - except the question in all conversations. Will that be in MAINE or MASS? Oh, boy.

We've been stealing quiet conversations over lunch, trying to figure out where we fit best. And there's the prodding new discovery, Brian's job in Mass he has been working towards for years is hiring. Yes, they called - and yes, he'll be in Mass next week.

But we're here now, semi-settled in a town with no school for the future babes. Moving is a must - but location is debatable.

Calling all brides.

Be happy. If you do nothing else on your wedding day; be happy. Don't worry whether or not everything is in the right place, or if you've forgotten something. It will all be perfect, after all, at the end of the day you will be married to the love of your life. (and if you can follow through with the other two hints - everything else will get any needed attention)

Surrond yourself with incredible people. I was overwhelmed by the excitement that surrounded our wedding. Our family and friends were abuzz about attending our wedding, how happy they were for us, and how much they were looking forward to our celebration. A big part of this was vacation time, as our wedding was a destination for all of our guests and many stayed a few days before and after. But it wasn't just about a few days off - people we really EXCITED for us to be husband and wife! I love it! (and my amazing hubby!!!) What made it even more special were the friends that shared their talent - a sweet friend was my bridal attendant (a huge help and lets you breathe deep), a new friend played his guitar for our ceremony (one of the sweetest gifts), my wonderful cousin did our ceremony reading (with love and some tears), and at a last minute request to lead Amazing Grace, three dear friends stood up and sang their hearts out for us.
{Advice: People love you, let them share their gifts on your big day - it is truly a most special gift}

Include everyone, or at least as many people as you can. This was the key to my sanity. My bridesmaids have always been amazing people and they were superstars for my wedding. We also had a ton of hands helping us make our big day - aunts baked cookies, his mom and grandma made table runners, my father cut card holders and refinished a beautiful screen, my mom did a thousand things, friends of the family cut fruit at our cabin, helped us with hair and make-up, made fabric flowers (I love this project!), and my aunt came through in a last minute request with the most beautiful sentimental something borrowed a girl could ask for. And then we overtook one of my bridesmaid's parents inn room in a whirlwind of dresses and make-up.

Many hands - when all have open hearts and focused hands - do indeed make light work.

With love,
Mrs. Crater

Wholly Moly - Hold ON

Last few weeks have been a whirl wind - like HOLY MOLY WE ARE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE1

Put on rose colored glasses, hold on tightly to my chair and make sure nothings coming from behind to throw me back into the tornado.

WHEW!  I think we're safe.

Quick recap:

• Brian cut his leg WIDE open (first ambulance ride since we've been together)
• Guide Training (more on that later) week of beating my body to a pulp
• Mom-mom passed - heartbreaking loss, she will be truly missed
• Nikki, my boss at Forrester, left to become the Chief Home Officer for her family
• We started moving into the house we are renting for the summer
• My sister is getting MARRIED this weekend

Oh yeah, and there's that wedding of my own that's getting closer everyday!

Enter major time on the computer, family crafts, and lots of hugs from my new friends in Maine. Trying to convince Brian that getting 20 small tasks that have no looming deadline makes me feel better than doing 1 big thing = my sanity is returning.

Soapwalla Kitchen

Back in middle school I had a friend who's mother was a nurse and switched her to aluminum-free deodorant. And that's when it started - my search for a natural product. Back then I only wanted it because my friend had it. But now I realize my momma blessed me with beautiful skin and don't I owe it to her and myself to keep it safe and healthy?

After years of casually searching for something (those rock sticks you wet, totally ineffective natural producs)that actually worked, I stumbled upon the Earth Friendly Weddings after a recommendation from a friend. Second post I read - all about a fantastic deodorant from where else, but my favorite place Etsy!

Soapwalla Kitchen makes an all-natural, aluminum-free deodorant cream in her Brooklyn apartment. It is fantastic! It smells incredible, is as smooth as lotion, and isn't irritating after showering. I highly recommend it, even if you aren't looking to change deodorants. I forgot to stir it before using and it wasn't very effective, but on the second day after some stirring it worked great. Dry and smelling like roses, I'm HOOKED.

And a bonus, I needed more body oil (way better than lotion in the summer, I put it on one night a week and no slimly lotion skin when you get sweaty, by the way) so I tried Soapwalla's Luxirious Moisturizing Body Oil. It's HEAVEN and smells delicious.