There are moments where I want to have it all - a clean house, a beautiful garden, perfect days filled with playing outside, walks with the dog, real conversation with my husband, and healthy home cooked meals. And then sometimes I just want to sit down.
Ever have that feeling that if you just sit down for a few minutes you'll feel refreshed? Lately, it isn't working. I sit down and feel no better afterward. But cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, and getting lots done in a few hours makes me feel great, but tired.
This life is so beautiful...if only I could feel refreshed sometime.
Friday, May 18
Thursday, February 9
Blessed.
Today God welcomed one of his angels back into heaven; a little baby younger than Marjorie. Days like this remind me how very lucky I am. I pray that the Lord lets her stay with us for a very long time.
Thank you God for this sweet, little girl. I cherish her.
Wednesday, February 8
Returning gifts.
As we found homes for gifts this new year, I couldn't help but be thankful for the generosity of those who surround us. In the past two years we have been recipients of the two greatest gifts - time and love - in abundance.
Looking back at the journey we've taken it would be impossible to thank all of the people that have helped us. We've been given a helping hand moving (multiple times), a place to live, help planning our wedding, preparing for Maggie, and a hand welcoming her into this world. I've enjoyed afternoons with friends, support at work, moments of understanding, and best of all, time with loved ones and friends.
I've asked myself a thousand times, how will I ever repay all that they have given? This thoughtfulness touches me in a way, for so long, I had not noticed.
It wasn't until recently that I understood what it means to get a birthday card sent out on time, not just remembering to say happy birthday, but to devote a bit of time to that person. As my life is full of love for so many, my goal for the year is to show how much I care as often as I can. And to pay forward the love they have shared with me.
So I thank you; and want you to know that it may be awhile before you are in need and I have the gift you need to receive - my strength to carry your furniture, my planning to throw your wedding, or advice on being a mother and a wife. But I will spread your love to others who need those gifts now; and in your honor, share the joy you have given me with others.
Looking back at the journey we've taken it would be impossible to thank all of the people that have helped us. We've been given a helping hand moving (multiple times), a place to live, help planning our wedding, preparing for Maggie, and a hand welcoming her into this world. I've enjoyed afternoons with friends, support at work, moments of understanding, and best of all, time with loved ones and friends.
I've asked myself a thousand times, how will I ever repay all that they have given? This thoughtfulness touches me in a way, for so long, I had not noticed.
It wasn't until recently that I understood what it means to get a birthday card sent out on time, not just remembering to say happy birthday, but to devote a bit of time to that person. As my life is full of love for so many, my goal for the year is to show how much I care as often as I can. And to pay forward the love they have shared with me.
So I thank you; and want you to know that it may be awhile before you are in need and I have the gift you need to receive - my strength to carry your furniture, my planning to throw your wedding, or advice on being a mother and a wife. But I will spread your love to others who need those gifts now; and in your honor, share the joy you have given me with others.
Wednesday, December 7
Miss Marjorie's Birth Story
At 12:31 a.m.on November 2, Miss Marjorie was born and I became a Momma.
Birthing her started long before her arrival. We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. November 1, eager to meet our little girl; who was already more than a week late. My doctor and I discussed options - the initial plan for induction was Pitocin, but after reading up on the nature of its influence on labor I voiced my preference for alternatives; and decided on a cervical ripener that could be removed if too intense.
It was a good choice, since shortly after it was administered I started having tetanic contractions. These sustained contractions don't have any rest period in between and lasted for hours. When Maggie's heart rate dropped for the third time they administered a bolus of fluid slow things down. After no relief from the saline, they administered a muscle relaxer, which changed everything.
By 2 p.m. my contractions were under control and it was decided I should rest till 6; then we would discuss pitocin. Luckily my body had been initiating contractions since the beginning of induction on its own and during the four hours of rest things progressed to two centimeters. Once examined, my doctor decided to break my water right in hopes my contractions would become regular and we'd get the show on the road more naturally. And boy, did that get things going!
My contractions became regular very quickly and I was breathing my way through. Brian was an amazing coach throughout the entire process. I spent some time on the birthing ball, using Hypnobirthing breathing techniques, and getting back massage from my hubby to work through each surge. When things started to get intense I decided it was time for more relief. Maggie was posterior and the back labor put me over my pain threshold. Ten milligrams of Stadol took the edge off and thirty minutes later had worn off. It was time to climb into the tub for some relief - thirty minutes was all I got before they pulled me out, concerned about Maggie since she had shown signs of distress earlier in the day. Brian helped make the most of it, pouring water over my belly and reminding me to take deep breaths. Once out, I was begging for another dose of Stadol while trying to continue breathing through my contractions, though at this point I was yelling my way through labor. Good thing the hospital was small and there were only two other Mommas on the floor.
My doctor came in to check my progress before allowing additional pain medication, but no luck on the meds as it was time to push! My room had been transformed while I was in the tub, extra furniture was wheeled out and birthing tools moved it. An hour and a half of pushing later and Miss Maggie was born. It took a long time for her to come around and down through my pelvis, but some strong pushing and we welcomed our baby girl.
The umbilical cord was around her neck and she was passed to the pediatrician. Brian stood between my bed and Maggie as they stimulated her - when she belted out her first cry my heart soared. I've been in love ever since. Bringing Marjorie into this world with the strength of my own body, with my husband by my side was the most miraculous experience of my life. She is a gift from God.
Birthing her started long before her arrival. We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. November 1, eager to meet our little girl; who was already more than a week late. My doctor and I discussed options - the initial plan for induction was Pitocin, but after reading up on the nature of its influence on labor I voiced my preference for alternatives; and decided on a cervical ripener that could be removed if too intense.
It was a good choice, since shortly after it was administered I started having tetanic contractions. These sustained contractions don't have any rest period in between and lasted for hours. When Maggie's heart rate dropped for the third time they administered a bolus of fluid slow things down. After no relief from the saline, they administered a muscle relaxer, which changed everything.
By 2 p.m. my contractions were under control and it was decided I should rest till 6; then we would discuss pitocin. Luckily my body had been initiating contractions since the beginning of induction on its own and during the four hours of rest things progressed to two centimeters. Once examined, my doctor decided to break my water right in hopes my contractions would become regular and we'd get the show on the road more naturally. And boy, did that get things going!
My contractions became regular very quickly and I was breathing my way through. Brian was an amazing coach throughout the entire process. I spent some time on the birthing ball, using Hypnobirthing breathing techniques, and getting back massage from my hubby to work through each surge. When things started to get intense I decided it was time for more relief. Maggie was posterior and the back labor put me over my pain threshold. Ten milligrams of Stadol took the edge off and thirty minutes later had worn off. It was time to climb into the tub for some relief - thirty minutes was all I got before they pulled me out, concerned about Maggie since she had shown signs of distress earlier in the day. Brian helped make the most of it, pouring water over my belly and reminding me to take deep breaths. Once out, I was begging for another dose of Stadol while trying to continue breathing through my contractions, though at this point I was yelling my way through labor. Good thing the hospital was small and there were only two other Mommas on the floor.
My doctor came in to check my progress before allowing additional pain medication, but no luck on the meds as it was time to push! My room had been transformed while I was in the tub, extra furniture was wheeled out and birthing tools moved it. An hour and a half of pushing later and Miss Maggie was born. It took a long time for her to come around and down through my pelvis, but some strong pushing and we welcomed our baby girl.
The umbilical cord was around her neck and she was passed to the pediatrician. Brian stood between my bed and Maggie as they stimulated her - when she belted out her first cry my heart soared. I've been in love ever since. Bringing Marjorie into this world with the strength of my own body, with my husband by my side was the most miraculous experience of my life. She is a gift from God.
Thursday, June 23
Always smiling
Waiting for a taxi last night with Meghan, the sweet girl ahead of us asked me if I love being pregnant. My answer: a resounding I LOVE IT!
The first trimester was trying for both Brian and I while I was constantly exhausted and feeling nauseous. However, we are now well into the second trimester and I feel fantastic! I'm amazed at the miracle of a baby growing inside of me, loving her bumps and kicks, and cherishing my body.
At the doctor's office, we walk in and the other women are rarely smiling. I'm not sure I understand why there isn't an unspoken kinship. I want to share a knowing smile with them - a mutual understanding of the happiness only a woman whom has carried a child could know.
Much to Brian's dismay I've easily forgotten the misery that was a good chunk of my first trimester. I'm passed that and onto the nursery planning, loving the movements of our little girl, and cherishing the miracle we've made together.
So smile at little darn it...enjoy the beauty that is your body and the miracle you've been blessed with. You're belly is big so I hope your over the morning sickness, and if not, keep frowning - that was terrible.
The first trimester was trying for both Brian and I while I was constantly exhausted and feeling nauseous. However, we are now well into the second trimester and I feel fantastic! I'm amazed at the miracle of a baby growing inside of me, loving her bumps and kicks, and cherishing my body.
At the doctor's office, we walk in and the other women are rarely smiling. I'm not sure I understand why there isn't an unspoken kinship. I want to share a knowing smile with them - a mutual understanding of the happiness only a woman whom has carried a child could know.
Much to Brian's dismay I've easily forgotten the misery that was a good chunk of my first trimester. I'm passed that and onto the nursery planning, loving the movements of our little girl, and cherishing the miracle we've made together.
So smile at little darn it...enjoy the beauty that is your body and the miracle you've been blessed with. You're belly is big so I hope your over the morning sickness, and if not, keep frowning - that was terrible.
Friday, June 17
Kody's 1st Birthday
Yesterday Kody celebrated his very 1st birthday, spent mostly outside of course.
My cuddly little bear has gotten so big already, though he still has a whole year of growing left to do. As a Berner we are loving bring able to soak in his adorable puppy nature, soft fur and manerisms for a little while longer. He won't be fully mature until two or three and as crazy as he can be as a pup, I love his puppy personality.
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For his big day, he enjoyed lots of time in the sun for the afternoon, did a little gardening (or stepping on Nana's rosemary), and enjoyed a multitude of snacks. Once home from the office, I joined the party and we spent the evening in the backyard around a camp fire while Kody happily chomped on a new bone from Nana.
He missed his Daddy greatly and is patiently waiting to jump all over him for cuddling when we head home after my trip for work. For now he is still enjoying his bone, particularly when it involves laying on Nana's lap. He is soaking up all the loving he can get and is napping the days away with his favorite girl doggie Goldie.
I hope you had a great day bud, Happy Birthday big guy.
My cuddly little bear has gotten so big already, though he still has a whole year of growing left to do. As a Berner we are loving bring able to soak in his adorable puppy nature, soft fur and manerisms for a little while longer. He won't be fully mature until two or three and as crazy as he can be as a pup, I love his puppy personality.
For his big day, he enjoyed lots of time in the sun for the afternoon, did a little gardening (or stepping on Nana's rosemary), and enjoyed a multitude of snacks. Once home from the office, I joined the party and we spent the evening in the backyard around a camp fire while Kody happily chomped on a new bone from Nana.
He missed his Daddy greatly and is patiently waiting to jump all over him for cuddling when we head home after my trip for work. For now he is still enjoying his bone, particularly when it involves laying on Nana's lap. He is soaking up all the loving he can get and is napping the days away with his favorite girl doggie Goldie.
I hope you had a great day bud, Happy Birthday big guy.
Thursday, June 16
Letters to Baby Goose
Hi Little one,
I got your very first gift today. It is from Trish, one of the sweetest ladies that I work with. I'm sure you will meet her when Daddy and I bring you to meet Boston. It's a little pink giraffe blanket. I adore the softness and how tiny it is, just the perfect size for you. When I unwrapped the package and smoothed my hand over the fabric I automatically thought of how soft your skin will be when you arrive. I'm secretly hoping you will have your Daddy's cheeks. They are the most kissable cheeks in the world and in baby size and softness I will melt everytime I kiss you. I promise I'll try very hard not to over do the snuggling, but as your Daddy already knows I just can't help myself.
Keep growing big and strong.
Love,
your Momma
I got your very first gift today. It is from Trish, one of the sweetest ladies that I work with. I'm sure you will meet her when Daddy and I bring you to meet Boston. It's a little pink giraffe blanket. I adore the softness and how tiny it is, just the perfect size for you. When I unwrapped the package and smoothed my hand over the fabric I automatically thought of how soft your skin will be when you arrive. I'm secretly hoping you will have your Daddy's cheeks. They are the most kissable cheeks in the world and in baby size and softness I will melt everytime I kiss you. I promise I'll try very hard not to over do the snuggling, but as your Daddy already knows I just can't help myself.
Keep growing big and strong.
Love,
your Momma
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